trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
