i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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