Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize