its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
