is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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