Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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