he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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