i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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