he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize