I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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