when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We had to coat check the pizza.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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