I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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