If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
