I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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