Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
