So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize