On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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