She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
