girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
