But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
