Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize