The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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