apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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