Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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