I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
