with your own penis?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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