Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
