And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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