But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
