After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
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