He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
