We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
