at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
