porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
