I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
