it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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