im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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