Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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