What did we do last night that was yellow?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
