Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
