what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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