Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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