She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
