I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
