hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
