She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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