living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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