The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize