we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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