It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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