I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
