Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
