Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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