I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
