ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
