is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
