Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
