My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
