This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
