can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
