maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
