i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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