I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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