Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize