Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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