I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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