That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
