Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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