ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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