I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize