Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
