Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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