Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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